Why I Declined to Appear on Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

As someone who has dedicated much of my rabbinic career to making Jewish lifecycle events meaningful and authentic, I was honored to be approached by the producers of Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. They asked if I would help Meredith Marks, one of the show’s stars, celebrate and reaffirm her Jewish faith by facilitating an adult Bat Mitzvah ceremony for her.

It was an exciting offer—no doubt about it. The opportunity to bring the beauty and significance of a Bat Mitzvah to a wider audience through such a popular television show was tempting. The producers envisioned a unique story arc where Meredith would embrace her Jewish heritage in a public, celebratory way, and I would guide her through the process. However, after much consideration, I ultimately decided that appearing on the show wasn’t the right choice for me.

The Weight of Reality TV

One of the main reasons I declined was the nature of reality TV itself. I’ve always been dedicated to presenting Jewish rituals with the utmost integrity. While The Real Housewives is entertaining and has its place, I was concerned that an adult Bat Mitzvah ceremony could be misrepresented or even turned into a spectacle, which I didn’t want to be associated with. Rituals like a Bar or Bat Mitzvah are deeply personal and spiritual. They deserve to be treated with sincerity and respect, not staged for dramatic effect.

In addition, the contract presented by Bravo’s producers would have significantly limited my ability to speak freely about the Bat Mitzvah process. The 8-page contract, coupled with a non-disclosure agreement, would have required me to relinquish too much personal autonomy—especially when it comes to how I discuss and teach about Jewish tradition. I simply wasn’t comfortable signing on, knowing that my role could be edited or misinterpreted in ways that I couldn’t control.

A Collaborative Solution

While I ultimately turned down the offer to fly to Salt Lake City and participate, I didn’t want to completely close the door on this unique opportunity. I suggested my colleague, Rabbi Ruth Abusch-Magder, a skilled and compassionate rabbi who I knew would be perfect for this role. Rabbi Ruth, whom I first met through CLAL’s Rabbis Without Borders fellowship, embraced the invitation and will be featured in a few upcoming episodes of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. I’m excited to see how she approaches this meaningful moment for Meredith Marks and hope it reflects the values we both hold dear.

Honoring Jewish Tradition

While I appreciate Bravo’s desire to showcase Jewish ritual on a large platform, it’s important to me that the core values of what I do as “The Mitzvah Rabbi” are upheld. I believe that Bar and Bat Mitzvahs—whether for children or adults—are sacred rites of passage that should foster a deeper connection to Jewish identity, not be transformed into entertainment for reality TV.

I’m grateful for the opportunity and the recognition it brought, but I stand by my decision. I’ll continue focusing on helping individuals and families celebrate authentic, meaningful Jewish milestones—without the camera crew.

If anything, this experience reinforced the value of my work: helping people connect with their faith and heritage on their own terms, in ways that feel genuine and personal. Reality TV might not be the right venue for me, but the real joy of working as the Mitzvah Rabbi is that each ceremony I lead feels just as special and rewarding as any primetime TV show could.

Stay tuned for more behind-the-scenes stories—and maybe a few surprises along the way. But for now, you’ll find me far from the Bravo spotlight, staying true to what matters most.